Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
