Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
