Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
