nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
