We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
