Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
