So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
