If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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