this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
