Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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