Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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