My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
