Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
