I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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