Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
