we're blogging at a bar
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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