I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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