I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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