You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
