She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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