Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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