Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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