wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize