hotel room ftw
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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