I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
