idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
