I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
