I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
