All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
