He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
