This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
