I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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