So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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