In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
