and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he shaved USA in his pubs
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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