i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
