so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We left an ass print on the piano.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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