Can Purell be used as lube?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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