apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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