How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
