why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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