Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
