Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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