I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
