I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
