No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
pray to the hookup gods
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
