just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
