I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
