How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
