I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
