My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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