Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
